Hi world, I went to church on Saturday!!
Church was _________.
I really don't know what to say but for personal reasons even,
I have one new goal: I must be less bitchy!!!
Been damn bitchy recently, especially to the gross people -beams.
Then again they probably can't help it so, I should be nicer haha.
Okay anyway, Happy Birthday Buanhua & Charxtan (:
Will upload the videos of your birthday "race" soon!!

Kns la my feet still hurt ): <
Okay I don't like this place reh I want to move, again.
Byeeeeeeee (:

I AM BRANDON YOUNG. says:
 HAHA WLLL YOUR PM DAMN NICE AH
Tigerstar says:
 hahahaha i know.
I AM BRANDON YOUNG. says:
 How was today with Jean they all?
Tigerstar says:
 funfunfun! how yknow?
I AM BRANDON YOUNG. says:
 Um, I took bus with ya'll after the paper.
Tigerstar says:
 HUH rlly?
I AM BRANDON YOUNG. says:
 Wanmin!!! You totally forgot my existence!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tigerstar says:
 hahahah i didnt see u la
I AM BRANDON YOUNG. says:
 HAHAH WHAT I WAS BESIDE SHYAN ALL THE WHILE!!!!
Tigerstar says:
 rlly? no..i was beside shyan
I AM BRANDON YOUNG. says:
 I was on THE OTHER SIDE of mer
 Haha
 You're damn funny
Tigerstar says:
 HUH. why U call her mer?
I AM BRANDON YOUNG. says:
 Ummmm I've been doing that for quite long hahah it's been spreading until, even, Iman calls her that haha
Tigerstar says:
 who are you?
 i thought u r brandon?
I AM BRANDON YOUNG. says:
 LEE WAN MIN
Tigerstar says:
 OH CHEY.
I AM BRANDON YOUNG. says:
 WTF
 HAHAH
Tigerstar says:
 CHEY.
I AM BRANDON YOUNG. says:
 HAHAHAHHA
Tigerstar says:
 wahlaooooooooooo
I AM BRANDON YOUNG. says:
 HAHHAHA
 YOU ARE A JOKE
 HAHAHAHAHHA
Tigerstar says:
 all along i was thinking wtf is brandon young talking
I AM BRANDON YOUNG. says:
 IM LAUGHING DAMN HARD NOW
 NICE
 NICE
 HAHAHA
Tigerstar says:
 KNS. misleading sia ur nick.
 and ur display picture sucks ley

HAHA LEE WAN MIN IS DAMN CUTE RIGHT SHE THOUGHT I WAS REALLY BRANDON YOUNG CAUSE I PUT THAT AS MY NICK NAME HAHAHHAA (Y)

Sunday sunday sunday, good day.
So, I shall update.

Farewell on Friday sucked, wasn't any tear jerker shit, at all.
I know this sounds damn biased but only 4S2A&B had interesting videos.
No candles, just some magazine, which is still, sitting in my bag.
Blah, even Kelly didn't shed a tear haha.
Farewell party was pretty fun though (Y)
Pigging out = our favourite pastime.
The huge tub of potato salad was well received, happy happy.
Everyone was in disbelief but this proves that I can cook! -beams.
Oh oh they celebrated the remaining kids' birthday!
They got me bubble bath haha Hazel picked it.
It's damn cute, one bottle's Virgin Oil Bubble Bath.
The other one's Slut Bubble Bath haha.
So I shall use each one according to my emotions that day haha.
Thanks 4S2A, and Hazel for picking it out haha.

Thenn, met thered_umbrella for her birthday celebration at Ion.
Pigged out like shit again hahaha.
Okay anyway I hope you liked the wallet + t-back underwear haha.
Ate like shit & busted money on suede heels.
I (L) Suede!!
Okay momo's home, byebye.

Omg somebody stab me now now now 20 days to O's and I suck at everything, how now.
Anyway, cheap thrills today = (Y) though I have to pay for the consequences tomorrow.
Pooh okay anyway fast fast fast fast um, okay, um, okay.
Wtheck I'm not thinking, but yeah k I got it I got it, (L) Sundays at Tiffany's.
Ummmmmmmm k I know this shouldn't be on my mind now, but,
I want new shoes + more denim stuff hahaha. -stabs self.
I feel puke-ish suddenly ):
K gotta fill up my consultation slots asap, and oh,



HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAPPY BELATED 16th I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS.
(I know it's not say very nice but it's the heart that counts haha.)

I really, really want to stab myself.
Since MIchael Jackson's already dead, I can't really get too upset about not ever watching him live,
BUT MR. BIG IS AROUND & GOOD & THEY'RE COMING TO SINGAPORE.
Wl I really wanna stab myself.
1) I have O levels, O levels, O levels. -stabs self.
2) It costs approximately 1/3 of my monthly allowance, -stabs self.
3) It's on the 18 October, and I start O's on 22!! -stabs self.
4) I don't have time left it's already 1 October. -stabs self.

Reasons why not to miss Mr. Big:
1) It's one of my favourite bands.
2) They are OLD. If they die it'll be an everlasting regret like MJ.
3) It's the ORIGINAL LINEUP WITH PAUL GILBERT.
4) It's a reunion world tour so if I miss this out, I'd never see them playing together, ever.
5) It's Mr. Big, need I say more?

-stabs self.
Kill me now kill me now now now now tell me tell me should I buy & go. Ughhhhhh ): <

Results were disappointing.
Very, very disappointing.
I guess, it's kinda, good though.
For one, it's just prelims.
Secondly, it kinda, gave me a jolt, back into reality.
And lastly, I'm starting to appreciate what I have more, especially my teachers.

I am finally starting to arrange consultations.
It's the first time in four years man.
Oh well, thirty more days, and I just don't believe I can't do it.

Hello pals, I haven't had a public in ages so, hi (:
Literature paper two today pals, not bad.
Heh, Lady Gaga Taptap is a good way to destress! -beams.
I kept annoying Karen today hahahaha "Beautiful, dirty dirty rich rich, beautiful dirty rich."
HAHAHAH, she hates it, but it's like so...
Loud! So booms! & it's just so, ME!
The wildest thing I ever did was to only wear a beegeenee and jeans, and strut down orchard road!
I am studying STEEL and COPPER and IRON.
& I love to pair zip-bra preengs and leopard preengs with khaki, you know, khaki greeng?
Hahahahhaa if you don't get it, it's okay.

Ohkay, so stupid, okay byeee.

I should officially stop posting so much, but I can't resist it. (Customs, people)
I totally should not be doing this BUT since I have no amath/history tomorrow -beams.



Really wanna get WM to wear this haha but I bet she won't (!)
It's like quite stupid & ahlian looking hahaha but serves her right!!



Meet the flying Shyan & WM. (I'm gonna get killed at lunch tomorrow I swear)



This is cute, because...



It's actually a urinal!



I'm a sucker for Latin, don't kill me.







Common but, cute.

So tell me, should I splurge on these things? (:

Mass dance today went pretty well.
I guess ours' was the easiest, and the most, fun?
Teacher's day skit went by pretty well too.
Though yes, major glitches but it ended on a good note.
I'm damn happy okay I messaged 老师 saying,
"老师我爱你！如果你在 pigeon hole 里找到一个小 tshirt, 那是我送的! 希望你喜欢我们的演出!"
She replied saying, "哈哈 演出很精彩 老师很感动 诗都写得很棒 谢谢 (Kissing smiley face)"
Heh she's so cute right!!! -beams.
Studying + lunch with Hazel & Jy after that (Y)
Love you bitches, loads & loads & loads.

1) Eat, Eat, Eat.
2) Meet many many people & have loads of fun! (Date clearing session)
3) Shop (!) SG + HK + (hopefully) Dubai again. I miss Dubai! (Maybe BKK too!)
4) Dance: Usual Choreography/Lyrical/Pop&lock/Latin classes. Dance until I die I also want!
5) Go crazy, for once.

To be updated (yay)

There she was, standing outside his door, soaked by the harsh rain. Her tears resembled the polluted waters in the city, an abyss of black. She had been out drinking again, he knew. Alcohol was on her breath, but so was misery. And just like always, he would wrap her in a dry towel and usher her inside.

He turned on the heater, and coaxed her to take a hot bath. She was always behaving like a stubborn little child, pride always on the line. For tonight, he picked out her favorite blue hoodie and a pair of pajama pants to match. It was going to be a cold night. 

As soon as they settled on the sofa, she was ready. She started out slow, and trembling. But as he held her hand to calm her down, her voice gained clarity. Although her story had been repeated to him, time and time again, he listened – all ears. 

Finally when her story reached its crescendo, fresh tears would erupt again. He would cradle her in his embrace, making promises that he would never be able to fulfill. And she would fall asleep with the lullaby of the sound of his voice. 

She had had a fight with her boyfriend, for all the same reasons as the last. And this was her therapy – the warmth of his arms. He knew, but he didn’t mind. Maybe, for most boys, they wouldn’t have bothered anymore. But to him, each time seemed to hurt him even more. It made him fall even deeper. 

Laying her head gently on a pillow, he walked to towards the window. Stars illuminated the indigo sky, and in his heart was the same throbbing pain. He was burning himself away, just to take away her pain. 

In the morning, he knew that she would wake up to find him gone. As always, she would make him breakfast, usually scrambled eggs or pancakes. Then, she would scribble a note, and leave it on the old piano. And she would disappear, for months, and he wouldn’t know when she would come again. 

Thanks Andrew, you’re the best friend I ever had. 

Love, Katie

He looked back to her sleeping form. A new degree of hurt would engulf him, just as the gunshot did that fateful day. Would she ever know the truth about that day? Maybe, but it hardly mattered. 

Grabbing the keys, he exited the apartment. It was painful, more than he would ever admit, but there was no other way out for him. Tonight, he was going to drink his heart away, hoping that it would finally rest and stop hoping. Tomorrow, he would return only in the afternoon. 

He knew her well enough, to know that she would never love him. But still, he loved her with everything that he ever had.

(Credits to Millie)

Post-note: She writes so well right, this girl sitting beside me. Love her to bits, this kid who stood by me through almost two years. Please go join her fansite haha, okay kidding I haven't created one. Anyway, this one's public because the story's awesome & I see no reason to deprive anyone of it. Oh and, just for fun, what would you say to Katie if you met her? I would scold her and tell her to open up her eyes for once. I'm so sure she'd come to regret in one day ):<

Privates, or more so, customs.
Comment to be added.

Hello world.
I haven't felt so screwed up in ages.
Have been spending excessively on stupid things like food.
Damnit I ought to be stoned for this.
So much for vegetable diets & shit, we screwed up at Ion after one day.
Newton's with parents = Awesome.
Bloody loads of food & mum's damn awesome cause she made me laugh damn hard.

Mum: Eh where are you?!
Dad: You forgot where the car is? Tell me where you are, I drive there.
Mum: Oh, under a tree!

Bloody funny right the open spaced car park got damn alot of trees please.

GPS system: 100 metres turn left.
Awhile later.
Mum: Eh I think I can take my license, got this thing.
Me: Eh mum don't try please, no use.
Mum: There there here turn left!
Dad: It's infront la!
Me: Mummy if you turn into this small lane, you end up at other people's house.
(It was a row of landed property & shit)
Dad: I think even if you get your license & GPS, you still cannot drive. One day the system will just give up on you & shout "YOU STUPID" and shut down by itself.

I love my parents.

Anyway Shyan's was bloody awesome too.
I love ya'll, period.
I don't deserve pals like ya'll, but I'm really glad to have you guys.
I shall dispense with the mushy stuff, you know what I mean.

K bye suckers.

I need to breathe.

Something really good as a private post, must check it out if you're my livejournal friend B)
Honestly, it's a remedy for sad souls out there -winks.

I must stop spending money unnecessarily.
I must stop spending money unnecessarily.
I must stop spending money unnecessarily.
I must stop spending money unnecessarily.
I must stop spending money unnecessarily.
I must stop spending money unnecessarily.
I must stop spending money unnecessarily.
I must stop spending money unnecessarily.

I don't know where my money goes, I think I need help, lots of it.
Anyway, I'm really happy now -beams.
I just received a Teddy + Rose + Card & it was placed outside my apartment.



I named the teddy Feifei (!)
Sweet kids for the win, I love my friends.
Anyway I think I busted my account, like spent around five hundred this month.
God, I think I don't need to eat anymore next month.
I need to study I need to study I need to study.
DESPERATE CALL, SHYAN/WM.
Millie/Bella: If you do group studying, include me please tyvm.
Yes Shyan, Joecheng during Chinese periods. (If you can escape Mrs G)

I am so annoyed with myself, I've got a split personality haha.
I think I'm mentally deranged.
Kill me kill me, I need loads of God in my life right now right now now now.
I need to stop wasting time/shopping/eating non stop.
I must pray more I must pray more I must pray everyday.
Keeping my appointment to pray is so difficult sometimes when life takes me by storm.
Grrrr. I'm going to snap at somebody soon, maybe a rubberband. HAHA.
I think I'm weird omg I'm seeing it I sound incoherent.
Save me, from myself.
Chem homework chem homework chem homework ):
I must do my prelim papers, for myself, for God, for loverleo. 
Breathe.
Okay mad cow says toodles (!)

& Karen I don't know if you'd ever see this but,
I love you okay, cheer up (!)

The weekend went by really well (!)
Rendition was really awesome, although there wasn't any sermon, the talk with three different lives really spoke into the hearts of men!
I was really touched, hearing about those life transformations, especially Veron's (:
God also reminded me of evangelism during altar call, and making the effort to grow.
I should stop being so lazy, intentionality in growth!!
Oh man oh man, I have so many things to do.
I can't juggle ministry & studies & pals for nuts, God help me help me (!)
Anyway time was well spent after service, with the unit girls & all.
I love God's people, and God Himself.

I am so happy okay I had double fillet today with seaweed fries & greentea.
So fattening as usual but who cares, I shall exercise soon! (Hopefully)
I have so many things to do, life is sweeping me off my feet & that's bad.
I can't wait to start breathing.
On a lighter note, I love national day sales. Especially at Watsons/Guardian.
I am so weird, I know. I got my Watsons card today anyway. -beams.

Alright I still have Mrs Famous Pearl's FTLOE to do,
& Loverleo's Chemistry prelim papers.
Oh and Emath. Thank God for suckers like Traffic Police staying up to study.
WE WILL ACE OUR O's AND PARTY AFTER THAT.

Note to self: Joecheng's your only hope for Physics now meet him asap.

PS: Bob's a stickman, MIllie's creation. Not a gross rocker.

Oh-kay goodbye world.
WM & Shyan, if you see this, it means that you're not studying and that's bad.
Please study now haha get your butt working (!)

School for the past two days, seriously awesome.
I missed Millie & Bella like crazy, seeing them was simply woohoo good fun (:
Life isn't that bad after all, I love my friends.
According to Janeen, the fever burnt my brains & now I'm damn weird.
Haha, but Hanisah was seriously damn funny. Come on, Chris Brown feat Cuixiao?!
Molecular Genetics for the win, "So whose going to be responsible when a mishap happens as they try to create designer babies?"
"They are trying to play God, trying to create Superhumans, so whose going to be responsible?"
CHRIS BROWN (!)
Haha damn lame, if you don't get it, it's okay.
I love the disgusted look Millie gives when I go "Kiss me through the phoneeeee."
Karen + Bella = (Y)
"Haiyahhhh I kiss you in real life la!"
All that was yesterday anyway, along with WM's "I'm a Koala! I'm a Koala!"

Today was, half as good but still good.
English was damn hell hilarious, Bella's irritable, assets. HAHA.
Honestly, it was a fat day.
Seafood horfun + Oyster Omelette + three Macarons okay sheesh.
I need to run those fats off haha tomorrow morning will be a good time (Y)

I must study I must study I shall do my planner for Claudz now goodbye world.

I AM SO EXCITED FOR SCHOOL TOMORROW (!)
I mean seriously I miss 4S2A like crazy okay so I'm like super happy.
Plus I've been hearing good news from Millie & Shyan so like, woah, seriously VERY happy!!
Anyway I have an announcement, brace yourselves, pals.

I, Ruth Jessie Suah, hereby declare that I am going to start studying for the first time in four years!

4S2A we must work hard please & prove everyone else wrong!
Love you all to bitzxzxzxz.

Anyway, here's a shout out:
ADELYN FOO WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I MISS YOU SO MUCHZXZXZ.
PLEASE COME FOR RENDITION TWO OKAY LOVE YOUZXZX -smooochums! 

Yay school (!)
K see ya tomorrow palsies.

PS: WANMIN I HOPE YOU SEE THIS YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST CAT FACE EVER I LOVE YOU (!)

37.1
38.5
38.8
38.4
38.7
39.0
40.0
40.8

Clinic, "I think it's better for me to send you to NUH."

I prayed like crazy, I was so scared.
I messaged a few, like my shepherd, my mum, Cleo, my pals.
I sat at the fever admittance room for two hours, barely surviving with all the symptoms & crazy aircon.
Finally, I met the doctor.

"I am not going to do the blood test for you, because there are too many people with the symptoms. I will be giving you very strong medicine, and a 10 day MC, please do not go out in this period. If fever persists after around 6 days, you come back here."

After a long, terrible night of practically dousing myself in ice water,
36.7.

God is real.
(I hope I can go back to school on monday!)

38.8 & still rising.
I hate putting ice on myself.
Goodbye.